


Interference

by impalagirl, wilddragonflying



Series: Roleplays [53]
Category: Captain America (Movies, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Tony needs to think before he speaks, and Steve and Bucky need to learn to communicate better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 17:32:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalagirl/pseuds/impalagirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilddragonflying/pseuds/wilddragonflying
Summary: Steve looks beautiful tonight, Bucky thinks to himself as he watches him from across the room. He doesn't really know why he's here, sitting at the bar knocking back as many drinks as possible while Steve flits around the room like the goddamn social butterfly Buckyusedto be, but he's not complaining if this is his view.





	Interference

Steve looks beautiful tonight, Bucky thinks to himself as he watches him from across the room. He doesn't really know why he's here, sitting at the bar knocking back as many drinks as possible while Steve flits around the room like the goddamn social butterfly Bucky _used_ to be, but he's not complaining if this is his view. Steve is wearing a tux, perfectly tailored for him in a way that not even their finest clothes back in the '30s and '40s were - Stark's doing - and he's clearly in his element, even if he still looks a little flustered by all the attention. The dusting of pink on his cheeks just makes him seem all the more inviting.

Perhaps that's what makes Bucky put his glass down and get to his feet instead of signalling the bartender for another - or perhaps he's just sick of waiting. Bucky's been back in action, the Winter Soldier out of it, for over a year now, and Steve has been more than welcoming, more than delighted to have his best friend back, but it's painfully obvious to everyone that something is missing. Granted, Bucky hadn't remembered that particular aspect of their relationship until they'd been sharing a floor in the Tower for six months, but that's not the point. He remembers it now; he remembers stolen kisses and desperate touches in the dark, the hitch of Steve's breathing when he came as opposed to the sickening wheeze when they'd almost been caught necking down an alleyway and Steve's panic had turned into an asthma attack. He remembers how gorgeous Steve looked when he woke up in the morning, sleepy and satisfied, and he remembers frantic, terrified prayers mumbled through tears to a god he didn't even believe in whenever Steve got so sick the doctor told him to prepare for the worst.

He remembers wanting to touch Steve so badly in public that his hands physically ached with the need to reach out; he remembers knowing with absolute certainty that he'd do whatever it took to ensure Steve's happiness and safety, even if it meant giving his own life; he remembers loving Steve with his entire being. That much, at least, hasn't changed.

But they don't talk about it. They don't talk about what they once were to each other, they don't talk about what they could be now - and Bucky knows that times have changed, he knows that people like them can be safe now, and he's fairly sure that Steve knows, too. They just... don't. Bucky worries sometimes that Steve has moved on, that he doesn't feel the same way anymore. He worried about that during the war, too, when Carter started sniffing around, and he knows now that in another life where Steve hadn't gone into the ice he would have married her, and he doesn't resent that fact. But in the here and now Steve still looks at Bucky like he hung the moon, still pulls him down into bed with him whenever he has a nightmare or crawls into Bucky's bed when it's Bucky who wakes up screaming and holds him close, and Bucky isn't completely certain but he'd put a lot of money on it. Steve still loves him.

Sure, Bucky knows that he must have his reasons for not acting on it yet - probably out of some weird fear of taking advantage of Bucky, despite the fact that he hasn't had an episode in months and is as close to being 'better' as he's ever going to get - and Bucky has been trying to respect that. But tonight he's had enough alcohol that he's actually a little drunk, and his inhibitions are low enough for him to decide, _fuck it_. If everything goes to shit he can always blame it on the booze.

Steve has just finished speaking with the guest of honour at this bullshit Avengers shindig and is alone by the time Bucky reaches him, flesh hand outstretched and a playful smile on his lips. "Can I have this dance?"

Steve's caught off-guard by Bucky's offer, but he grins anyway, taking in the slight flush riding high on his cheeks. "Of course," he says, stepping forward to take Bucky's hand. "Just how much alcohol have you had?"

"A fair amount," Bucky admits, grinning. "Got bored, thought I'd say hi."

Steve laughs at that. "You being bored usually leads to more than just 'saying hi,'" he teases. 

"Well, give me time," Bucky says, pulling Steve against him and into a gentle sway. "I may surprise you yet."

Steve grins. "You usually manage to," he agrees. 

"You look good tonight," Bucky offers, his voice low and flirtatious. "Got the eye of every dame in the place on you."

"And yours, too," Steve observes with a grin. "But thank you."

Bucky shrugs, but a note of seriousness enters his voice. "Sweetheart, you've always got my eye on you."

Steve can't help the way the back of his neck grows hot at Bucky's words. "Well, thanks," he says, a bit awkwardly. Ever since Bucky got all of the memories back that he was ever going to, he's been watching Steve, and Steve's been watching back - only when he was sure Bucky couldn't see him, though. Steve's never gotten up the courage to ask if Bucky remembers what they were, back before the war forced them apart, and he doesn't find it now; he ducks his head, focusing on not squashing Bucky's toes. 

But Bucky's not having that. He chucks Steve under the chin with his right hand, raises Steve's face until he can meet his gaze, and gives him a warm smile. "If you're gonna think that loud, you might as well just say it."

Steve's answering smile is faint, and he chews on his lip for a second before he admits, "It's not a thought I want to say here." Not surrounded by all of these people, anyway, when he’s unsure of Bucky's reaction and answer. 

Bucky nods in understanding. "Want to cut and run?"

Steve hesitates, but nods in the end. "Yeah," he answers. 

Bucky grins, and steps back to take Steve's hand again. "Then let's go."

Steve follows Bucky out of the gathering room, through halls and doors until they find themselves on a deserted balcony. Steve locks the door behind them, because if they're about to have the conversation he thinks they are, he doesn't want anyone or anything interrupting them. "Bit brisk out," he observes, rubbing his hands together just to have something to do with them. 

"Here," Bucky says, drawing Steve towards him with his hands on his shoulders so that he can rub some warmth into Steve's arms. "Better?"

"Kind of," Steve says with a laugh. 

Bucky sighs. "We can go back inside if you want," he says, and it's obvious that he's giving Steve the chance to escape from more than just the cold.

"No, I - this is good," he says; he's not sure if this is going to _stay_ good, but the two of them have been dancing around this for long enough.

Bucky smiles. "Then, I think you wanted to tell me something?"

"Ask you," Steve corrects, and then takes a deep breath. "I - Do you - Do you remember us, before? Before the war, when I was still the skinniest kid in Brooklyn."

 _Finally._ Bucky grins. "Yeah," he says. "I remember."

"Everything?" Steve presses. 

Bucky gives him a funny look. "How would I know that, genius?"

"Well, what do you remember?" Steve asks awkwardly. 

"I remember our first kiss," Bucky says. "I remember bein' so sure you were gonna hit me and kick me out on my ass, but you didn't; you just pulled me closer and held on like you were never gonna let go." He smiles his lopsided, gorgeous, trademark Bucky Barnes smile that matches the old Brooklyn accent that's starting to creep into his voice, getting stronger with each word. "I remember being careful, bein' scared all the time and goin' on all these dates with dames just to keep people from talkin'. I remember takin' you to that queer club down by the docks and how scared you were until the moment you walked through the door and saw that we weren't the only perverts in the world. I remember pushing our beds together and making time real quiet until the sun came up; until we couldn't walk anymore and we had to miss church." He's smirking now. "You want me to go on?"

Steve shakes his head mutely, not because he doesn't want Bucky to continue, but because he doesn't have the breath to voice his amazement that Bucky remembers _all_ of that. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"'Cause you didn't," Bucky says. "Wasn't sure if we were doing that anymore; if it would mean anything."

Steve laughs, breathless. "I didn't say anything because you'd just gotten free of Hydra, and you didn't have even a quarter of your memories back. Not exactly the best time to start a relationship with someone if you want it to be a healthy one."

"And now?"

"I never said anything because you didn't, even after you'd gotten most of your memories back. I didn't know if you wanted that with me again," Steve admits. "I mean, I saw you looking, but that isn't the same as knowing."

"Well, I do," Bucky says. "Want that with you."

A slow smile spreads across Steve's face. "You do?" he asks, unable to keep the hope from his voice.

"Yeah," Bucky says, ducking his head. "If you'll have me."

"If I'll - Of course I will," Steve says, stepping in closer to Bucky.

Bucky grins, mirrors Steve's movement. "Then what's a guy gotta do to get a kiss around here?"

Steve smiles. "You just gotta ask," he says, one arm moving so that he can wrap it around Bucky's waist. 

Bucky's whole body rumbles with a laugh. "Well I'm asking," he says. "Please, Mr Captain America, sir, _please_ kiss m--"

"Oh my god, you asshole, shut up," Steve groans, but he's laughing as he captures Bucky's lips in a kiss.

* * *

Tony finds Bucky back at the bar twenty minutes later. Steve got grabbed by some suit as soon as they returned to the party, and Bucky has no time for that shit, so he's ordered them both a drink and is content to wait while Steve does the Captain America thing. It's pretty cute, actually, watching him charm the hell out of this guy and even, Christ, provide a quick signature that gets slipped into the guy's pocket. Bucky only hopes that it's for his daughter and not for the guy himself. Nerd.

"Okay," Bucky says when Tony has been staring at him for a ridiculous amount of time. "What do you want?"

"Since when has _Captain America_ been gay?" Tony asks without preamble; luckily he’s not so drunk as to have lost his volume control, so the question doesn't carry past Bucky. 

Bucky smirks. "He's not," he says. "Do I even want to know how you found out?"

Tony just waves a dismissive hand. "Jarvis," he says, like that answers everything. "How long have you two been making time?" He snickers then, because really - no one says that anymore.

Bucky rolls his eyes. "About seventy-five years, off and on," he says. "What's it to you?"

"Damn," Tony says with a low whistle. "Media's gonna go apeshit when they find out."

Bucky looks at him sharply. "What?"

"C'mon, man - Captain America being _gay_? That's gonna spark so many arguments, oh my God," Tony cackles. "You might just kill the entire congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church in one go."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Bucky asks. "And he's not gay."

Tony waves a hand. "He's in a gay relationship, same difference," he says. "And yeah, that would be - but man, you guys wouldn't get a moment's peace for _at least_ a year. Captain America's kind of a symbol, you know. And if he's banging a _male_ former Soviet assassin? Shit's going to get real."

Bucky frowns. "So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, there's gonna be a lot of press going on, and it probably won't be even mostly good, at least not at first. Bigots are always the loudest."

"Right," Bucky says slowly. "You really think it'd mess with his reputation?"

"Oh definitely," Tony says without hesitation. "It'd recover eventually but yeah, there'd be an effect."

Bucky nods, thoughtful, and then pushes away from the bar. "I need to talk to Steve," he says.

* * *

Bucky finds Steve a few minutes later, and wastes no time in dragging him off into a corner. Steve would tease him, but there's something in his expression that keeps the blond quiet. "Okay, what's wrong?" he asks once they're alone. "Are you okay?"

"I'm glad we're doing this again," Bucky says. "Us. I've missed you, Steve. But..."

"But?" Steve prompts, something clenching in his chest.

Bucky takes a breath. "I don't think we should tell anyone."

Steve blinks. "Why?" he asks, trying not to sound hurt.

Bucky sighs. "I just think it'd be for the best," he says. "Why cause any shockwaves, y'know? We don't need the whole world watching us."

That... makes sense, Steve supposes. "All right," he says. "But - I don't want to hide this forever, Buck."

Bucky fights to keep his discomfort off his face. "It's early days," he says. "We can talk about it again later."

Steve hesitates for another moment, worrying his lower lip, before he gives in. "All right," he says. "As long as we can talk about it later; we've hidden for long enough, don't you think?"

Bucky's smile is soft and a little sad. "Yeah," he says. "We sure have."

Steve reaches out to take Bucky's hand, giving it a brief squeeze before letting go. "If waiting is what makes you comfortable, then we'll wait," he promises. 

Bucky's smile still fails to reach his eyes. "Thanks, Steve."

* * *

"So he doesn't want you to tell anyone?" Sam asks the next day when Steve is visiting his floor. "Am I even supposed to know?"

"We decided to tell the team, because we trust you," Steve answers. "But we aren't telling anyone else."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't want to."

"Well, he must have given you a reason," Sam says.

Steve sighs. "He said he doesn't want the whole world watching us."

"Well," Sam says slowly, "I guess you can't exactly blame him."

"No, I can't," Steve concedes. "But I just - I didn't think he wanted a relationship like that with me, but he _does_ , and we're finally in a time where we can be open about it. I respect that he wants to keep it private, but he was talking about it like he didn't want to ever come out, and I guess I'm a bit upset about that, because I don't ever want to hide again."

"I'm sure it's not about the attention he'd get because he's _gay_ ," Sam says. "He's the first person to jump up and defend LGBT rights, even before you, sometimes. I think it's just the attention, period. The media shitstorm around his pardon has only just started to die down, and he's still having difficulty leaving the Tower. The thought of opening that can of worms again has to be scary."

"You're right," Steve says, and instantly feels bad for not thinking of that himself. "That makes sense; I want him to be comfortable and feel safe more than I want to show off our relationship."

"Just give him some time, yeah?" Sam suggests. "He'll come around eventually."

Steve nods. "Thanks, Sam," he says, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. 

Sam smiles. "Anytime."

* * *

Things are as normal as they ever are for the next week, aside from the added weirdness that is Steve's and Bucky's relationship. In all honesty, it isn't actually that different to what it was like before the party; they're just more aware of their actions now. They still trade looks that are somehow equal parts tender and heated; Bucky still flops onto the couch with his head in Steve's lap and silently demands head scratches when he's had a bad day; Steve still takes Bucky's coffee right out of his hands in the morning and takes a sip before grimacing and adding enough creamer and sugar to make Bucky feel queasy. But there are differences. They aren't so worried about making sure that no one, including each other, notices the looks anymore; Bucky will ask Steve outright to pet him now and actually purrs on occasion while he's doing it; the first time Steve takes a mouthful of Bucky's coffee and finds that it already has the perfect amount of creamer and sugar in it, a second cup of Bucky's usual black coffee waiting just behind him on the counter, Steve kisses him right there in the kitchen. Right in front of _Stark!_

Bucky's loving every second.

Which is why, when Steve asks him if he feels like stretching his legs and getting ice cream one sunny afternoon, Bucky feels a looming certainty that the other shoe is about to drop. "Sure," he says lightly, purposefully choosing to misinterpret Steve's suggestion. "I think there's still some in the freezer."

"I was actually thinking we could go out and get some?" Steve says, a little nervous. "The Split Banana got some new flavors in."

Bucky sighs, but the smile that comes to his lips isn't forced. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, that sounds good."

Steve beams. "Awesome. Meet me in the lobby in ten?"

"Sure thing."

* * *

Bucky gets butterscotch ice cream, because that's what he likes, and Steve gets a three-tiered monstrosity of all the new flavours that he only pays half price for because he's _Captain America_. Bucky gets no such discount, but he doesn't expect it and he doesn't mind. He counts himself lucky that he can even get served here; quite a few places still won't let him past the door.

The heat is just the right side of unbearable, pleasant providing you don't walk any faster than a gentle stroll, and Bucky licks at the side of his ice cream before it starts dripping down his hand. "Haven't seen a summer like this since before the war," he says, and he sounds almost cheerful, like the reason for that isn't because he was kept in an ice tank for the last several decades.

"Me either," Steve agrees, starting in on his own ice cream. It's nice, being able to do this again with Bucky - even if he wants to add a new element to this walk, to take Bucky's free hand in his. 

"Wanna take the scenic route?" Bucky suggests. "It's a really nice day."

"Yeah, that sounds good," Steve says, smiling as he catches a stray drip with his tongue. 

Bucky's gaze tracks the movement, and he wants nothing more than to lean in close, see if he can still taste the ice cream on Steve's tongue. But he can't, so he turns pointedly away, and focuses on the street around him instead of the view he'd much rather be admiring. "So what's the plan for the rest of the week?" he asks mildly.

Steve shrugs. "I don't know. Hopefully nothing big will crop up that'll require the whole team's attention. I was planning to keep working my way through the list of shows and movies that the others keep adding to. You?"

Bucky shrugs. "Not a lot. Movies and TV sounds good, though."

Steve nods, and they walk in silence for several moments before Steve curses under his breath. "Does this feel as awkward to you as it does to me?"

Bucky doesn't look at him. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says lightly.

Steve sighs. "Sure you don't," he mutters, turning his attention back to his ice cream.

Bucky sighs. "You know it does," he says. "But we agreed."

"Yeah, we did," Steve says; he's regretting agreeing to that, but it's too late to take it back now, and he's not going to give up Bucky now.

Bucky sighs again, looks at Steve like he wants to say something more, but he can't bring himself to open his mouth. Anything he says right now will just make the both of them feel worse. So he goes back to his ice cream, and prays they get home soon.

* * *

"What the _fuck?_ " Bucky crows in abject horror about a week later, staring at the TV like it just bit him. "They burned down _the Burrow?_ But that doesn't even happen in the books! Does it?"

"No, it doesn't," Steve says, frowning hard enough that his entire face aches with it. "What the hell?"

"Look at their faces!" Bucky cries. "This is unacceptable." He folds his arms over his chest and scowls. "I don't trust this franchise anymore."

Steve eyeballs Sam and Nat from where he's sitting next to Bucky with his arm around his partner. "You knew," he says accusingly. 

Natasha looks amused. "Of course we did," she says. "I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"It's the Burrow!" Bucky whines.

"It's their _home,_ " Steve says plaintively. 

"Christ," Sam laughs. "Two supersoldiers who lived through the Great Depression _and_ the Second World War, and this is what upsets you?"

"I lived through a lot more than that," Bucky says darkly. "This is _betrayal_."

Steve nods. "This is one of the worst things that's happened so far."

"Just wait," Sam says smugly. "It gets worse."

Bucky grumbles and presses closer against Steve, glaring at the TV once more. "I hate your friends."

"I'm starting to agree with you," Steve mutters, slumping down on the couch and tucking his arm more snugly around Bucky. 

They fall asleep not long after that, warm and comfortable in each other's arms and rapidly losing interest in _Harry Potter_ , and when something explodes onscreen and it becomes clear that they're dead to the world, Natasha breaks the silence. "Look at that," she says disdainfully. "They're so adorable I might puke."

"I'm getting a cavity just looking at them," Sam agrees. 

"I'd take a photo," Natasha says, "but it would only end up on Instagram. I don't think they'd like that."

"Probably not," Sam muses. "Shame; pretty sure this would break the internet."

Natasha looks at him. "I'm pretty sure that's why I'm not allowed," she says.

Sam shakes his head. "I can't believe they want to keep this quiet; I know how hard it is for Steve to act like nothing's changed when they're in public. Can't imagine it's much easier on Bucky."

"They're so affectionate in front of all of us," Natasha says thoughtfully. "I guess it must be hard to just switch that off."

Sam nods. "Steve said Bucky was the one who asked to keep things quiet, but look at him." Sam gestures at the sleeping couple. "Three-quarters of the time, he's the one initiating the touching and other affectionate shit."

"Well what were Bucky's reasons?" Natasha asks.

Sam thinks for a moment. "He said that Bucky didn't want the whole world watching them," he says slowly. 

Natasha purses her lips. "Does that sound like Bucky to you?"

Sam shrugs. "He'd only just been exonerated," he points out. "Probably had enough attention for a while."

Natasha hums, looks back at the couple, still sleeping soundly. "Maybe."

Sam wags a finger at Natasha. "I know that look; you're thinking of digging deeper."

"Me?" Natasha asks with a small smile. "Never."

Sam just snorts disbelievingly. 

* * *

A few days later they're out picking up takeout for a cozy date night in when Bucky spots two men holding hands across the street. He eyes them hungrily, an ache in his chest, and blushes when Steve catches him. "It's weird, isn't it?" he asks, just a little defensive. "Seeing it like that."

Steve shrugs. "Maybe I've just had longer to get used to it, but I don't think so," he says, not mentioning the fact that he wants to do the same with Bucky, wants to tangle their fingers together and never let go. 

Bucky turns his gaze back to the couple. "I kind of want to run over there," he confesses, "tell them to stop, that it's not safe."

"But it is," Steve reminds him. "Safer, anyway."

"Yeah," Bucky says. "For some people."

 _For everyone,_ Steve wants to say, but doesn't. Bucky's made his stance clear; he doesn't think _they'd_ be safe. "Yeah," he says, noncommittal. "I guess you're right."

Bucky looks at Steve then, and it's just on the tip of his tongue to say something, to say everything, when--

"Sirs? Umm. Your food is ready."

The guy holding their bag out to them looks nervous and embarrassed and awed, but he hasn't asked for their autographs yet or stared at the arm too much, so Bucky smiles at him. "Thanks, kid," he says, handing over a fifty. "Keep the change."

Just before the door swings shut behind them, Bucky hears the kid saying, "--Captain America! And _Bucky Barnes!_ "

Steve smiles as they walk away, divvying their food between them as they go. "People are warming up to you even more," he comments. 

"It's nice," Bucky agrees. "I didn't think they ever would."

"I never doubted," Steve answers with another smile. 

Bucky looks away, caught between pleased and flustered, and spots the couple from before, walking in their direction now. One of them meets his gaze and smiles, and then, to Bucky's horror, they cross the street and start heading straight for them. "Steve," Bucky mutters, but whatever he wants to say next dies in his throat as the couple reach them.

"Hi there!" the more enthusiastic of the two cries. His boyfriend is standing half a step behind him, his gaze lowered and his cheeks pink. Bucky can relate. "I hope you don't mind us coming over like this, but we're big fans."

Steve's always been the one who deals with attention more easily, so he doesn't hesitate to take a half-step forward, offering his hand to the man who'd spoken. "Always nice to meet some fans. Obviously you know who we are, so do you mind me asking your names?"

"Oh, of course!" the man says, shaking Steve's hand. "I'm Shaun, and this is Michael."

"Hey," Michael says quietly, and Bucky, still a little on edge, smiles at him. "It's nice to meet you both."

Steve smiles as he shakes both men's hands. "It's nice to meet you, too."

Shaun's grin is blinding. "We just wanted to say," he starts, and Michael closes his eyes, "I think it's really great, you two being as open as you are."

"Well," Bucky says, dry as bone, "it's kind of difficult to hide your past when you're a ninety-year-old ex assassin."

Shaun actually looks embarrassed. "Oh no! Oh god, that isn't what I meant!"

Steve shares a look with Bucky, then. "I'm sorry, we don't know what you mean," he apologizes. "Open about what?"

"Well, your relationship, of course," Shaun says earnestly, and Bucky watches with fascinated horror as Michael's face goes bright red. "I think it's just great. You're both real gay icons."

Steve almost smiles and thanks them, but then he remembers the reality of his and Bucky's situation, and he makes his expression go sheepish. "I'm sorry, but we're not together," he makes himself say.

The only other time Bucky has seen someone destroyed so utterly so quickly, it was when he didn't recognise Steve on the bridge. Shaun looks devastated, and he turns to Michael silently, who shakes his head with a sigh. "I'm sorry," he says, curling his hand protectively around Shaun's elbow. "We really are big fans, and a lot of people look up to you, but we shouldn't have assumed."

"Assuming makes an ass out of you and me," Bucky mutters, thinking of something he saw on the internet a while ago, but then he shakes himself and offers the couple a tight smile. "Sorry. It was nice of you to come over and talk to us. But Steve's right, we're not..."

"Say no more," Michael says quickly. "We're _really_ sorry. We'll get out of your hair."

Steve offers them a weak smile. "It's fine. I hope you guys have a nice day."

"You too," Shaun mumbles faintly, before Michael drags him away.

Bucky could say something now, could make a joke or comment on how awkward that was, but he can't bring himself to speak. Instead, he starts walking again, and feels guilty for being glad that Steve stays silent, too.

* * *

There's no one around when they get back, so they stay quiet until they're back on their floor with the buffer of food in front of them. It's not an uncomfortable silence, not exactly, but Bucky can feel an undercurrent of tension running between them. He hates feeling like he caused it, but he's not going to back down, not now. He knows it's for the best. So instead he pops another spring roll into his mouth, and once he's swallowed he asks, "Has Nat been giving you weird looks lately?"

Steve thinks for a moment, then shrugs. "If she has, then I haven't noticed."

"You wouldn't notice if she bit you on the ass," Bucky teases fondly. "Growing complacent in your old age."

"I think it's more a reflection of her skills," Steve disagrees, though he's got a small smile on his face. "And yours, if you've managed to catch her at it."

"I think I have," Bucky says. "But I could be imagining it. Or maybe that's just how she looks at people."

"She does tend to look at people like she knows something they don't," Steve agrees, picking at his own food.

"Probably because she does," Bucky says mildly, watching Steve play with his food rather than touching his own. "Steve."

"Hmm?" Steve asks, glancing up at Bucky.

Bucky sighs. "Come on," is all he can think to say.

"What?"

"Whatever it is," Bucky says. "Spit it out."

Steve sighs. "It's nothing," he says. "Just stuck in my head. I'll be fine."

Bucky treats Steve to a look that would be disapproving if it weren't so fond. "You know that's not how it works."

"Yeah, well, we aren't exactly doing things the normal way, are we?" Steve asks before he can stop himself.

Bucky's expression shutters. "I know it's not ideal," he says, "but--"

"It's fine," Steve interrupts, not wanting to go over this yet again. "It's fine, Buck; not that big of a deal. Just leave it, all right?"

Bucky's mouth twists down at the corners, but he nods, and drops his gaze to his dinner again.

* * *

Things don't get better over the next few days - if anything, they get worse. Steve and Bucky are still spending time together, but even _Tony's_ picked up on the new tension between them, and he's spent forty-eight of the last sixty hours in his lab. Natasha and Sam have grown concerned, and Natasha decides to confront Bucky when he inevitably hides in a corner at the next Avengers function.

She doesn't have long to wait; there's one that weekend, and when the opportunity arises, Natasha doesn't hesitate to strike. "So," she says, bringing an offering of alcohol with her which she hands off to the former assassin. "Things have been tense around here lately, huh?"

"Have they?" Bucky asks, already halfway down his third glass. "I hadn't noticed."

"Maybe because you've been living with it for weeks now," Nat suggests lightly. 

"And what would you know about it?" Bucky asks mildly.

"That it's making the both of you miserable," Natasha says bluntly. No one is paying them much attention for the moment, but who knows when that will change. "Sam said Steve told him it was your idea to keep things quiet."

"Well, it was," Bucky says. "But Steve agreed with me."

"Steve would do anything to make you happy and comfortable," Natasha points out. "Why did you want to keep things quiet?"

"Because it's better, isn't it?" Bucky asks, a little harshly. "It's better for everyone."

"Not when it's hurting you two and your relationship, it isn't."

Bucky scowls. "I'm trying to _protect_ him."

"From what?"

"Everyone," Bucky says. "The public, y'know."

"Steve's a big boy, and he doesn't care what the public thinks," Natasha answers, brow furrowed. 

"I know that," Bucky says. "But I know what it's like to have the whole world turn against you. He doesn't need that."

"Why do you think the world would turn against him?" Natasha probes. There's something Bucky isn't telling her, and she's going to find out what. 

Bucky shrugs. "Because he's Captain America and he's a fucking queer."

Natasha raises an eyebrow. "That sounds like a quote," she says thoughtfully. "Who told you that?"

"Stark," Bucky answers, "and he's right. Steve's their golden boy and they might be warming up to me a little now but that'll all change when they find out that I..."

"Love him?" Natasha finishes, raising an eyebrow. "Just as much as he loves you?"

Bucky's expression darkens. "You know it's not that simple."

"Then make it that simple," she counters. "You love Steve, and he loves you; fuck what the bigots say. There will always be people who disapprove, but I guarantee you that they will be far outnumbered by the people who support the two of you."

Bucky sighs, looks away. "I don't know," he says. "I want to. But I don't want him to lose everything because of me."

"He won't," Natasha says confidently. "You need to talk to him, Bucky. Tell him what's going on."

"All right," Bucky says. "All right, I'll talk to him. Happy?"

"Almost," Nat hums. "But I need to go talk to Stark. Good luck." With that, she gives Bucky a pat on the shoulder before making her way around the room, heading straight for Tony. 

* * *

Bucky spends the rest of the night turning what Nat said over and over in his head, trying to decide what's best. He still hasn't reached a decision when a pair of shiny black shoes appears in front of him, but when he looks up into Steve's face and realises that Steve hasn't been near him all night, he finds that he knows the answer. "Hey," he says softly, with a tender smile. "You ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah," Steve answers, meeting Bucky's smile with a small one of his own. It's earlier than they usually leave these events, but Steve just doesn't have the energy to socialize for long tonight. "You?"

"Please," Bucky says, with feeling. "There's something I want to talk to you about, anyway."

Steve nods, ignoring the nerves abruptly coming to life in his stomach. "All right; let's get out of here."

Bucky follows him back up to their floor, and he keeps his hands to himself until the door is locked behind them and he can pull Steve into his arms without fear of being seen. Maybe after this he won't have to worry about that anymore. "I missed you," he says. "You were so busy all night."

"Unfortunate side effect of being an Avenger," Steve says, wrapping his arms around Bucky in return. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Bucky says. "I drank a lot, and I had a really nice chat with Natasha."

Steve raises an eyebrow. "Oh? A _nice_ chat?"

"Yep," Bucky says. "Turns out she has been giving me weird looks."

"Did you find out why?"

"Because I've been making you miserable."

Steve's first instinct is to deny it, but then - well, he hasn't been _miserable_ , but he hasn't exactly been happy these past couple of weeks, either. "Well, I hope she didn't yell at you."

Bucky used to be so good at this, but faced with Steve's admission he can't stop his expression from falling. "Steve," he says. "Why didn't you say something?"

Steve sighs. "Because I want what you already made clear you don't," he answers. "And I didn't want to lose you, or make you feel guilty for wanting to keep our relationship private."

"You _agreed_ with me," Bucky says accusingly. "You didn't stop me when I suggested keeping it quiet."

"Because you'd only just been cleared, and the media was barely starting to calm down about that," Steve protests. "I thought we'd give it a few weeks, learn how to be _us_ again, and then talk about coming out, but you never said anything about wanting to come out, so yeah, I kept quiet!"

"We're meant to be honest with each other," Bucky says, feeling more off-balance than he has all evening. "I knew neither of us were happy about it, but I thought it was what you wanted."

Steve shakes his head. "I was okay with taking our time and becoming more comfortable in our relationship first, but I don't want to hide, not when we don't have to. I just thought you wanted to keep it quiet."

"I didn't," Bucky says. "We spent enough energy keeping it quiet the first time around, it was nearly the end of us a few times. But I wanted to protect you."

"Protect me from what?" Steve asks, confused. 

Bucky laughs, though he doesn't sound particularly amused. "That's what Nat said."

Steve doesn't laugh; he's still frowning in confusion. "I don't understand."

Bucky sighs. "You're Captain America," he says. "I figured, being queer would tarnish your image. Especially if you were queer with me. Like I was dragging you down with me, or something."

"There is nothing wrong with being queer," Steve says firmly, "and there's nothing wrong with you."

"Doesn't mean that other people won't think that," Bucky insists. "Especially if you put the two together."

"Then that's their problem, not mine, " Steve argues. "It'll mostly be FOX News and the Westboro Baptist Church, and we all make it a point to piss them off as much as we can, anyway."

Bucky's starting to see where Steve is coming from, but even so, he still can't keep himself from asking, "But what if Stark's right and it is the whole world who takes it badly?"

"Then they're all bigoted idiots," Steve answers. "And the world's opinion doesn't matter to me - it never has. Yours and my friends' opinions are the only ones that matter to me, and our friends already approve of our relationship."

Bucky huffs, shakes his head. He should have known. "I promised myself I'd never hurt you again," he says.

Steve shrugs. "It was all a misunderstanding."

"Then let's straighten it out," Bucky says. "Since talking at cross-purposes has worked so well for us this far."

"I think it's been working fine," Steve says, laughing a little. He sobers after a moment, though. "I love you, Buck. I don't want to hide our relationship - I want to show you off, even if it's just walking down the street holding hands."

"I want that, too," Bucky promises. "I've done a lot of fucked up things in my life, Steve, but loving you isn't one of them. If you want to shout it from the rooftops, that's what we'll do."

Steve grins. "I don't know about shouting it from the rooftops, but maybe the next time the Avengers get asked about their love lives?" Which, sadly, is far too often.

Bucky smiles back. "Sure," he says. "Whatever you want."

"And what you want, too," Steve insists. "I want you to be happy and comfortable, too."

"I will be," Bucky says, "believe me."

Steve hesitates, but then nods. "Okay. But let's not make the mistake of not talking to each other again, okay?"

Bucky smiles, and reaches out to catch Steve's hand and give it a squeeze. "I promise

* * *

Steve and Bucky spend the rest of the night wrapped in each other, reaffirming their relationship. The next morning, they're interrupted at breakfast by Jarvis announcing that Natasha and Tony are on their way down; Steve glances at Bucky with a raised eyebrow. "Any idea why they're coming to visit?"

."

"No clue," Bucky says. "They're probably up to something, though."

"Probably," Steve sighs. "Let them in when they get here, Jarvis."

"Certainly, sir."

Bucky is holding Steve's hand across the table, laughing softly with him in a way he hasn't for what feels like weeks, when the door to their floor opens. "Here we go," he mutters, squeezing Steve's hand, before he turns to face their guests.

"Steve," Natasha says, "Barnes." Bucky waves with his free hand. "Tony has something he wants to say."

Tony looks very thoroughly chastised; Steve's sure Natasha probably burned his ears with her berating. He clears his throat, then says, "So, I recently had it pointed out to me that I may have led Bucky to a mistaken conclusion."

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Really."

Tony nods. "I'm sorry," he says, and for all that Natasha may have yelled at him and made him realize his mistake, he sounds sincere. "I didn't realize how it would sound when I mentioned the media going apeshit."

"So then how did you want it to sound?" Bucky asks.

Tony shrugs. "I think I was trying to say I wanted to see those conservative morons on FOX News lose their shit."

"Well, you did a very poor job of getting that across," Bucky says, his tone just a little too harsh.

Tony winces, and Steve lays a gentle hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I am sorry for that," Tony says. "And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

Bucky stares Tony down for a long moment, before he sighs. "Just forget about it," he says. "No lasting damage sustained."

Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Steve beats him to it. "Tony, it's fine. Really." Tony's expression shows what he thinks of that, but he doesn't protest further. "Thank you for the apology, just - try to think a bit more before you speak next time you're drunk, okay?"

"I will," Tony promises.

"Great," Natasha says. "Now that's out of the way, we'll get out of your hair. Enjoy the rest of your morning."

"You too," Steve says as the other two turn to go. Once they're gone, Steve turns back to Bucky. "You okay?"

Bucky sighs. "Yeah," he says. "I guess. Are you?"

"Yeah," Steve says thoughtfully. "I'm good."

"Maybe I shouldn't have let him off so easily," Bucky says, "but I just--"

"Just what?" Steve prompts gently. 

"I don't care," Bucky says honestly. "What's done is done and I, I think we're okay now."

Steve smiles. "Yeah, I think we're okay," he says, scooting around the table until he can take Bucky's hand in his, pulling the other man closer.

Bucky goes willingly, and he touches Steve's lips with his own. "I love you."

Steve's smile widens. "I love you, too," he promises, reeling Bucky in for another kiss.

* * *

Steve and Bucky come out when, after Bucky gets blasted off of the roof he's perched on during the next Doombot invasion, Steve kisses him in broad daylight during the aftermath. The picture is all over the evening news, and all over the world and the internet by the time Steve and Bucky collapse, exhausted, into their bed. They're kept busy over the next few weeks, but when they finally get some time to themselves, they don the oddly-effective jacket and hat combos they use whenever they want to go out without being recognized and they go for a walk, just to get out of the Tower for a while. 

They've been walking for half an hour when Steve nudges Bucky. "Do they look familiar?" he asks, nodding towards a couple sitting on a bench and talking animatedly. 

Bucky recognises them instantly. "Yeah," he says, "that couple who thought we were dating."

They catch sight of Steve and Bucky about then, and Steve raises a hand in a wave as the more excitable one - Shaun, Steve thinks his name was - grabs his partner's hand, grinning. Steve takes Bucky's hand and leads him over, offering the two of them a grin. "Hi; Shaun and Michael, right?"

"Right!" Shaun says, grinning. "Oh my god, I can't believe you remembered our names!"

"I didn't," Bucky offers, though it's a lie.

Steve elbows Bucky, but he's still grinning. "How are you two doing?"

Michael gives them a serene smile. "We're good," he says. "Actually, we moved in together last week. But," he eyes them shrewdly, just a hint of amusement twitching around his mouth, "I hear we're not the only ones with big news."

Steve chuckles. "Congratulations, and you're not wrong," he admits. "You probably saw it on the Internet."

"We sure did," Shaun gushes. "I about screamed the house down."

Michael smiles. "He definitely sent my dog running for cover," he says. "But seriously, we're really happy for you both."

"Even if we were right the whole time and you crushed my soul for absolutely no reason."

"Sorry," Steve says sincerely. "We weren't ready to go public yet."

To Bucky's surprise, Shaun gives them a soft look. "It's okay," he says. "I shouldn't have come up to you like that; it's never cool to out someone before they're ready, and I didn't think you were actively hiding it but I did know you hadn't spoken about it yet."

Bucky smiles at him. "Thank you."

Steve nods, a matching smile on his face. "Yes; thank you," he says, giving Bucky's hand a squeeze. "But there was no harm done."

Michael puts an arm around Shaun and gives him a squeeze. "We're really happy for you," he tells them. "And you guys are definitely gay icons now."

Bucky laughs. "I think we can handle that."

Steve laughs as well. "There are worse things to be," he agrees.

"Well, we'll let you go on your way," Michael says warmly. "And congratulations again."

"And to you," Bucky returns, and he and Steve move away, hand in hand.


End file.
